Resolutions: Why Some Goals Fail to Motivate

Resolutions: Why Some Goals Fail to Motivate

“I commit to…”

losing five pounds. Getting enough sleep every night. Eating well. Doing the thing I should do that I don’t really want to do but everyone else seems to be doing in order to feel, look or be better.

These days, when we think of New Years resolutions, it’s easy to feel a sense of cynicism. Even with our best intentions, many of us are nonetheless prone to choosing the hard road to a place that we long for… then struggling to stick with it. No pain, no gain right?

But what if there was another way? What if, for example, we took an intention that was about being, rather than doing? Or what if we chose to focus on the path… rather than the outcome?

Would that make a difference?

In the body, the word resolute points to a sense of certainty. I am clear. I am determined. I stand tall and move with dignity. I have closed the exit doors and I am calmly, steadily making my way. Those who are resolute cannot be deterred. They have done the inner work to arrive at a bold decision, and they are unstoppable.

And resolution? Somatically, resolution is about completion. Following a move all the way to its end. In music, we listen for the resolution of a phrase – a natural unfolding of the expression. Lift your hand high up over your head, then let it slowly return to your side. There is nothing more simple. What goes up must come down. And things we begin must come to some end. Resolution connects us with a sense of inevitability.

What if our New Years resolutions embodied these qualities? What if we set goals that, simply put, connected us with the inevitability of who we are. Deeply. Naturally. Human-ly.

This week, as we move boldly into 2015, I invite you to consider your relationship with Resolution.

If you’re up for the challenge, start by looking at your goals.

In my experience, I have found that there are many subtly different kinds of goals, some of which serve us more loyally (and lovingly) than others. Rather than choosing a goal that puts me at the mercy of another person or thing (e.g. at the mercy of the bathroom scale, or the piece of pumpkin pie that my roommate thoughtfully saved for me), I have learned to choose goals that put me at the source my own success. These goals anchor me more deeply in who I want to be (e.g. healthy) and point the path I will need to travel to get there (e.g. make good food choices most of the time).

Also, I aim to steer clear of any goal that doesn’t really feel like me. If my desire is to create sustainable change, I have to be honest with myself. No amount of cajoling is going to produce long-term execution on a goal I didn’t really buy into in the first place.

What do I want, that isn’t a should? What do I want that my body will remember even if my mind forgets? Who am I longing to be that deep down I already am?

Next, take stock of your stance. Physically.

In your movement practice,

feel into the somatic experience of resolute… and resolution. As you walk, run, ride or dance, find a new posture that represents these words for you. Who is the body that stands tall and strong? The one that knows, and that won’t be trifled with. How does it move?  What is that body already committed to doing? Being? Having? Not from the ego or from fear, but from the deeper, truer place that guides your on your best days. Can you trust her?

Are you willing to let her guide you this year?

If so, let’s begin. Write down three things your body knows, three things it wants, and one inescapable Resolution for 2015 that’s more important to you than your fears.

And the next time you walk down the street… try on this new posture of resolution like a new favorite sweater.

Start today.

Committed to the path…

LeeAnn

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